Why can't things be Simple
I am not for adoption. I am not against adoption.
I am anti-bullshit.
I was on Twitter the other day, and I came across a concept that blew my mind. I never thought it could actually be a thing.
Ever since I learned about my adoption, the one thing I've always abhorred about it is the fact that I lost everything regarding my first identity. And I lost it all legally.
I lost my name, ancestry, heritage, history, and culture. I lost everything I already had when I entered this world. And it was replaced with that of the adopters. So much so in my case, that my adopters never even told me who I really was, or where I came from.
This concept of adoption, where individuals lose their first identity is actually called plenary adoption. It erases everything, and it is legal. Adopters not only get parental rights over the adoptee, but also get to pass their identities onto them.
In other words, plenary adoption terminates the relationship between birth parent and child.
And sadly, many adoptees have no way of knowing their first identities without sacrificing a lot of time and resources to search for it.
Across social media I have written and shared how I feel like the definition of adoption needs to change. Why should a person lose their first identity in the process of adoption? Why not have both? Be raised by a couple or one person that simply gains parental rights, while still legally have ties to your first identity, and your biological family.
In my case, my mother may not have been able to parent me, but she can legally still be my parent.
These ideas and thoughts of mine are apparently what this concept I came across already is. It is known as simple adoption. And is done in France, Brazil, Thailand, and Ethiopia, according to this article titled "Adoption law should be reformed to give children legal connections to both of their families – here’s why". Here's what the article says about simple adoption:
Australians with personal or professional experience of out-of-home care or adoption want a new form of adoption legislated in Australia. One which would allow children to have legal ties to both their adoptive family and their birth family at the same time. This is called "simple adoption".
How cool is that though? As a late discovery adoptee, this concept sounds amazing to me. Because my identity was taken away and replaced with a fictitious one. One meant to deceive me.
Angela Barra wrote a Medium article where she shares her thoughts on abolishing plenary adoption. Click here for the article. In fact, it was through one of her tweets that I came across simple adoption. And I highly suggest you follow her on Twitter, and click that link to read her article.
While I may find the concept of Simple adoption appealing today, I know that it is appealing because of my experience with adoption.
Tomorrow as I learn and research more, my views will change. I don't have the answers. All I have are opinions based on my lived experience, and the shared experience of other adoptees.
What I know today is that I'm the Adoptee that lost. I lost my identity. And it is my well-being that is being affected as I try to search for anything I can get my hands on to reclaim everything I lost.
One day, I wish that there can be an agreeable approach to what is essentially raising people, without them having to lose all that they already are.
