Indian Late Discovery Adoptee

One year ago I wrote and sent my adopters a letter. I have shared this letter in a post titled " The Letter ". It has been a year. I still have not received any official word that either adopter has read this letter. It is possible that they have read it, but refuse to acknowledge or say anything about it. I just don't know. Back in June of 2020, my adoptive mother told me she hasn't read it via text, and that she'd rather we meet face to face and she would read it then. She said she is responsible for the turmoil in my life, and she alone. She even wrote that a filial relationship shouldn't be dependant on the contents of a letter. Which is interesting considering she thought she could have one based on a lie. Based on never telling me where I truly come from. A relationship entirely based on deceit. Sometime in August of 2020, I reached out to the adoptive father, I asked if I could call him. I wanted to talk about adoption paperwork. He replied requesting t

Recently two Adoptees that I follow on Instagram shared posts on what it means to not be adopted. It inspired to me write a new blog post. Wendy ( @wendyfabulous on Instagram) posted an image  with the following words: "Please describe to me what it feels like to be first choice." In her description, she mentions that it's mainly directed towards non adopted individuals. But I still felt it. I grew up believing that I was a "first choice". That I was "kept". It's a very strange place to be when I think of being a late discovery Adoptee. I feel stuck in the middle. And even though I am adopted, I am an Adoptee, because a majority of my life I thought I wasn't, sometimes I feel like I don't belong in that conversation space. And yet, I do belong. I think back to a thought I once had - As a late discovery Adoptee, I feel like I can relate and can't relate to Adoptees all at once. From my upbringing, I can certainly tell you what it’s like