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Showing posts from May, 2020

The Letter

On January 17th of 2020, I sent my a-parents a letter. I wrote down my thoughts and feelings that I've been having up until that point. Today is May 14th, 2020. As far as I know, neither of them has read it yet. When I first sent it, my a-mother shared a lot of her thoughts. Much of which were hurtful. But, she didn't read the letter. It would have brought to light a lot of what I was going through. Maybe she would have replied differently. But then again, in her words, "Whatever you feel or think I validate even without reading anything." A month later in February, I sent them a message in the group chat asking whether or not either of them read my letter. I got zero responses. Not even an acknowledgement of my question. Then again in March, I sent them another email letting them know I still wasn't sure if any of them read it. And so, I will post that letter here. If it helps someone else, great. But at least it will be read by somebody. It’s been a

The Visit

In May of 2019 I discovered that I was not at all related to the couple that raised me. When I first took that DNA test, it was not my intention to uncover the lie that is my adoption. I just wanted to see where my DNA and heritage came from. I still remember the shock I initially had when I first opened up the results. Some days I feel like I'm still shocked by it. Shortly thereafter, in September of 2019, the adoptive parents came to visit for two days. While they thought they would have a normal pleasant visit, my plan was to get answers and talk about the adoption. Whether or not they planned or wanted to talk about the adoption, I do not know. I'm sure at some point our a-mother would have brought it up, but I had to go about it on my terms. When I think about it today, for 34 years, I did not know who I was. I had no control of my story. I know that the choices I made the day they came to visit were done for me to get back that control. When our a-parents and younger