Indian Late Discovery Adoptee

 Every now and then I get asked the question. “Hey Kris, I know someone that’s adopted, but they don’t know it. Should I tell them?” This is a question that I have given a lot of thought to over the last few years. And what I’ve realized is that it’s not a matter of IF you should tell them, it’s WHEN and HOW. I firmly believe that everyone deserves to know their truth. It is, without a doubt, abusive when a “parent” lies to their ward leading them to believe that they are their biological parents. So what then? Honestly, you really just have two choices. You either don’t tell them and let things run their course, or you do tell them. Just know that sooner or later, somehow or the other, they will find out. There is no good way to go about it. Whether or not you tell them the truth, there is absolutely no way in which this experience won’t be traumatic. This is an upending, identity-shattering mindfuck. When I think about my experience as an LDA, it infuriates me at times to think a...

 I read this today on Reddit. "It's your parent's job to raise you. Your adult relationship with them is their performance review." * Father's day is coming up (this Sunday). I've been thinking a lot about it. Not just from the context of being a father, but also as a person who doesn't know their father. I was raised by strangers. By people who made the conscious decision to lie to the children in their care. By definition, they were people who parented. As a late discovery adoptee, it's difficult to see them as parents. The lying and deception make it feel that way. Whatever the case, my adopters raised me. And while that technically makes them parents, they had a job to do, and they did not do it well. My adoptive father never wanted children for starters. The day he told us this, is a memory that lives clearly in my mind. It was about 14 years ago. I was 23. Sitting at the dinner table in a Texas apartment that we once lived in. Just knowing that e...