another year, another birthday

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I am tired of being angry.

In a recent tweet, I shared the following:

But I guess it's fair to say that there are moments that I am still angry.

I don't think it helps that this is my birthday month. To me, it feels like the month that nobody cared that I came into this world. There were no celebrations that I'm aware of. It's the month that I was separated from my mother, and I don't have the faintest idea why.

It's the month that someone else took me and lied to me from that moment onward about who I really am.

Today, there are people in my life today that care about it. But the fact remains, on the actual day of my birth, I have no idea if anybody did.

This will be the second birthday I live through with the knowledge that I am adopted. It will be the second birthday that I actually have a conscious thought about my mother and father.

I didn't choose to be adopted. I didn't even choose to be born.
And I most definitely didn't choose to forget my mother.

That is the heartbreaking part of it to me. For all the years my mother thought about me, I was raised to never know she existed.
I was raised to believe the people who took me were my actual biological parents.

And for that, I am angry.

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